Sometimes in life, metaphorically or literally, you find yourself on the concourse at Reading train station and just need some literal substance, not even nutrition, and your options are limited. So here we are at Burger King. It’s not like I’m looking for innovation here, but the spectre of it is hung in front of me and in a moment of weakness, I consider that maybe it will be good. Beyond a simple cheeseburger, I note a boast of a new loaded fries dish, all cheese and bacon bits and it’s been a long day and the platonic ideal of that sounds, well, ideal. But of course, it’s not the platonic ideal I’m given, is it. I’m given the Burger King interperation of it. A portion of fries is loaded into a cardboard box, some vaguely cheese-adjacent sauce is pumped on top - the kind you suspect they’d not legally be allowed to descibe as cheese were we in France - and then the already underwhelming bacon they use for the burgers is chopped up and sprinkled amongst the gloop. For a properly enjoyable experience with loaded fries, you need the crispness and volume over surface area for substance. Alas, we move.